Jeopardy, a Poem

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Michael Richards is the new host
of JEOPARDY!
A controversial choice

First Episode at the Podium
Contestants:
pharmacist from OR,
teacher from PA,
& Returning CHAMPION
mailman from UT

Categories:
RUSSIAN LITERATURE | COMIC STRIPS | TRAVELS THROUGH TIME | W.A.P. | HOLLYWOOD SCANDALS | AFRICAN-AMERICANS

Returning Champion
“I’ll take African-Americans
for 200,
Michael.”

“This man is a nigger. He’s a nigger. Throw his ass out. He’s a nigger. He’s a nigger. A nigger, look, there’s a nigger.”

Returning Champion
“Who is
W.E.B Du Bois?”

“Correct. Pick again.”

Returning Champion
“African-Americans
for 400.”

“Fifty years ago this man would be upside down with a fucking fork up his ass.”

Pharmacist from OR
“Who is
Lebron James?”

“Correct!”

And it went on

for years and years

Degrassi Revisited: “Message in a Bottle”, Season 2, Episode 16

TV Review

How’s COVID been for you? I don’t know anyone who’s gotten sick, so am confidant in saying COVID is a hoax and we should all be breathing on each other. I want to hate this months long lockdown, but, truthfully, it hasn’t really affected me. I have no friends and never go anywhere. 2020 has been pretty much like 2019 for me, except I have to wear a mask to Wal-mart, and it closes at 8:30 pm, like a folksy small town Wal-mart from a bygone era.

There is one aspect of this pandemic that I have taken pleasure in: how it’s cut through the hubris bigger states have about themselves. As a life long resident of Michigan, I’ve never had a reason to be proud of my state, and resent there are states where people do. Watching them taken down a peg makes me happy.

For instance, early in the outbreak, California had very few cases and acted like they were managing it right and the rest of us were too dumb to figure out. “We’re like our own country. We aren’t following Drumpf. We got this.” Then COVID hit them so hard, and they had to close businesses, shut down Hollywood, arrest people trying to use the beach, and make everyone wear masks outdoors. Ha ha! With your gyms and yoga studios closed, Californians, soon you’ll be just as fat as we are in the Midwest!

Then Texas was all like, “We ain’t pussies like California. We ain’t afraid of no Coronavirus. YEE-HAW!” Knock that off. You had to shut down the same time California did. You Texans aren’t as tough as you claim. You deserve Joe Rogan.

Being stuck inside has started to wear on me. I’ve regressed to the point where I’ve been watching old Degrassi. Yeah, I’m going stir crazy. Recently, I saw Message in a Bottle” the season 2 episode that originally aired January 17, 2003, and wanted to re-recap the original on Boycott the Caf. I like this episode because it centers on Sean, the most interesting character from the early seasons. He’s the original bad boy of Canada. Sorry Jacques Loubier, the lumber jack who plays by his own rules.

We see a key unlock a door, footsteps, the key flung on a table, a Coke can opened. Then it is revealed that this is Sean’s hovel, where he brought Emma to study. It’s not exactly The Sopranos or Breaking Bad quality cinematography, but it’s nice to go back to when the people who made Degrassi put a little effort into their show. Sean lives with his adult brother, Tracker, who shows up because he quit his job as a jizz mopper. Tracker kicks Sean and Emma out so he can have a girl over. Tracker is ashamed to show anyone the type of girl he can get.

We then go to the school, where basketball practice is bouncing away (tee-hee!). Sean and Jimmy are on the team but don’t like each other for some such reason. But Spinner brokers a peace accord. See, Jimmy will host a party tonight, Spinner tells Jimmy to invite Sean, and Jimmy does. You don’t say no to Spinner.

Meanwhile, Emma’s parents have been planning a dinner for Sean for a week, but Emma still hasn’t invited him. If I was Emma, I wouldn’t want anyone to meet my parents either. But since the dinner is tonight, Manny pushes Emma to tell Sean.

“No!” yells Sean, upon receiving the invitation. He was really angry, like offended at the offer. I always liked eating dinner at a friend’s house. It was nice to see what another kid’s mother cooked, how their dinner setup looked, and experience a family meal where the mom and dad didn’t scream at each other the whole time.

Sean would rather go to Jimmy’s party. But Mr. Simpson comes by, grabs Sean’s butt, and is excited to have Sean over. He’s such a cool kid and Simpson could brag to everyone that he hung out with Sean. Emma says her mom will make sushi. Wait, isn’t Emma a vegetarian? Maybe she considers fish a vegetable. Maybe she thinks refusing to eat Japanese food would be racist. Either way, they’re having sushi tonight.

Then we go to Jimmy, who looks longingly at Ashley. They broke up after her escapade with Ecstasy last year, but he still pines for her. Of course, since Ashley is goth now, she won’t date Jimmy unless he starts wearing black makeup. “She’s become a vampire,” Spinner tells Jimmy. Goths had been a thing in the US for twenty five years at this point, but must’ve been new to Canada. Spinner doesn’t know what to make of it.

I’m not even sure what Ashley and Ellie are doing is strictly goth. They have too much color in their appearance (at least Ashley and Ellie are black in demeanor). They look more like Avril Lavigne (remember her?), pop-punk filtered through Hot Topic and the Warped Tour. To be fair to Ashley and Ellie, I think goth culture was greatly diluted since the ‘90s. These two grew up in a time when Christina Ricci was considered goth. Really, all you had to do to be goth in 2003 was not smile and watch Tim Burton movies a lot. Ashley and Ellie made multiple trips to the theater for his remake of Planet of the Apes.

Fun fact: The actress who played Ellie hated her goth look and that is why the producers toned it down later on. Which is good because the character wanted to pursue a career in journalism. If Ellie was interviewing people and reporting stories while dressed goth, she’d look dumber than Chris Cuomo.

Anyway, Jimmy invites Terri to his party. He doesn’t want Terri there, but Terri will be sure to bring Ashley. In the hallway, Paige and Terri talk about the party while Ashley and Ellie are behind them. I don’t know if they are walking as a group or it’s a coincidence Ashley and Ellie are right behind them. But now we have confirmation that Ashley knows about Jimmy’s party. Paige can’t attend because she’s getting her vagina dyed or something. I don’t know why we had to hear that, but I guess we had to know that Paige won’t be there.

Back at the hovel, Sean is mad at his brother for losing his job. “Money is important, Sean,” says Tracker, “but so is my pride.” Tracker demands respect when he’s on the clock, mopping up jizz at the Wank-o-drome. Sean says Tracker is behaving just like their dad, but Tracker responds that, unlike papa, he doesn’t waste all his money on booze. Tracker assures Sean that he has an interview at another porn theater. Good for Tracker. You don’t want to spend your whole career as a jizz mopper at the same porn theater. Your skills will go stale. Stale and crusty.

Sean takes some pickled herring out of the fridge and heads to Emma’s house. What’s the deal, Sean? You aren’t going to a Norwegian wedding? You know what’s funny? I saw that and really wanted some pickled herring. I looked it my fridge and there just so happened to be half a jar of pickled herring way in the back! I don’t know how old it was, but pickled herring can’t spoil. It pretty much already is.

Anyway, the whole family is getting ready for the big dinner in Sean’s honor. Simpson opens a bottle of wine. I don’t like that the only two adults insist on drinking alcohol when the meal is for kids. Open a bottle of Faygo for everyone. Sean arrives and is uncomfortable because they have to sit on the floor like real Japanese people do in Japan. They even use the coffee table as a dinner table. Fucking weebs. Sean doesn’t know how to use chopsticks, so stabs the sushi like a boss. I like that. I don’t know how to use chopsticks either, so I eat sushi with a spoon.

Sean goes to get water, sees the wine, and takes a big drink. He slammed that 6oz glass like it was nothing. I am an adult, and if I downed that much, I’d have to lie in bed next to a bucket. Also, Sean did that in clear view of everyone else. There is no door between the kitchen and living room. But Simpson and Spike could get in trouble for letting a kid drink in their house, especially since Simpson is a teacher. So it’s best if everyone pretends it never happened.

Now that I think about it, that might be sake, since everything about this meal is Japanese. Sake is called Japanese wine, except it’s made from rice, so should be called Japanese beer, or maybe whiskey. The Japanese don’t know what wine is. That’s our fault, though, we in the West. It’s kind of mean that we’ve had relations with Japan since the 1850s, but not one of us ever explained grapes. It’s the worst thing we’ve ever done to Japan.

Anyway, Sean drunkenly spills pie on Emma*, so she goes to change, and then Simpson goes to tinkle on the potty (he sits down of course), so Sean is left alone with Spike, who wants to make conversation. It goes about as well as any conversation between a teen boy and an over the hill woman could. Snake says it must be nice to get a home cooked meal. “Because I don’t get home cooked meals at home?” Sean says sarcastically. He should have shot back that sushi was never cooked, so she is a dirty lying old cunt. Sean accuses Snake of calling him a “welfare case” and leaves in a huff.

Why is Sean so ashamed? Being a welfare case in Canada would be sweet because they have actual welfare. If I lived in Canada, I would never get a job. I’ve seen Trailer Park Boys—being a deadbeat in Canada is a lot of fun.

*I blame Mr. Simpson for having puny little girl arms that can’t pass a pie tray.

Every party needs fresh apples. They are a healthy snack!

The party is bopping at Jimmy’s. Kids are making out (the boy extras probably enjoyed that assignment more than the girls) and dancing to some song from white guys pretending to be Bobby Brown. Music is weird.

I had a sad realization a few months ago, when Ben Shapiro, the tiny conservative pundit, complained about a song by Cardie Bee and Meg Stallone, and was mocked over and over. People my age are old enough to be out of touch with pop music! I know that, spiritually, Ben Shapiro is the world’s youngest Baby Boomer, but it still makes me feel old—even more than the fact my knees hurt when I sit down on the toilet.

I am fine with laughing at Ben Shapiro. He certainly deserves it. But can these people also admit that “WAP” is not a very good song? “But it’s empowering to women!” Sure, I’ll concede that. Every 9-year-old girl needs to hear “WAP” every morning before school to inspire her to fight the Republican Party. “WAP” truly exemplifies the legacy of Ruth Bader Ginsburg. I get that. Now I want you to admit that it’s a terrible song. The lyrics are simple and the beat is boring.

Cardie Bee is so stupid she makes me wistful for the time of Lil Kim. You kids may think Cardie Bee is something new and groundbreaking, but Lil Kim’s songs were just as sexual and provocative, but actually sounded good. The Jump Off is catchier than anything Cardie Bee has done, with better lyrics too. I make a Sprite can disappear in my mouth. Man, I’d like to see that. I wish I could do that. It would be a neat trick to show at parties! That’s Lil Kim, she told a story with her songs. Lighters Up” told me that particular part of Brooklyn is a place I should avoid. How Many Licks” told me masturbating to Lil Kim’s poster would help me get through prison. God bless you Lil Kim, wherever you are.

So…anyway, Sean arrives at Jimmy’s party drunk. He is happy to see Spinner, but who isn’t? He gets along with Jimmy, too. Good thing Sean is a happy drunk, like a German, and not a mean drunk, like an Irishman.

Craig asks Sean if he has been drinking. Craig is wearing a leather jacket over a sweater. He must be sweaty as hell. He has two of the warmest items of clothing on top of one another, and he’s indoors, in a crowded room with people dancing. Of course, he has to dress in black to indicate he is a rocker. In contrast, Sean always wears a denim jacket to show he is poor but tough.

The kids of Degrassi dress like cartoon characters, and I love it.

Sean sees a bottle of the Devil’s Sprite that belongs to Jimmy’s dad. Sean takes it—because the white man always take from the black man—and pours it into a pop bottle, which every teenager thinks is a full proof way to sneak booze around. But Sean also keeps the booze bottle. Sean, you so crazy.

Emma arrives and tells Sean, “So sooooorry about my mom.” Seriously, I think she set the record for the most Canadian slur of sorry ever. She should get an award from the prime minister. Emma tries to grab the bottle from Sean. He keeps it away but then drops it on the floor, where it shatters. Immediately, the music stops. That comes from a movie trope: something happens to stop the party, there is a record scratch. They can’t do that anymore because kids don’t know how to use record players. Someone hit the pause button on the CD player just in time.

Jimmy kicks Sean out and picks up the glass. He cuts his finger and then Ashley kneels down next to him and takes his hand. Maybe Spinner was right about her being a vampire!

Emma and Sean are on the other side of the highway from Jimmy’s estate. Sean is hungover. Emma calls her parents for a ride. But I don’t think they are too far away. Sean walked from his house to Emma’s and then to Jimmy’s. Or maybe he took the bus. For all I know, Emma and Sean are sitting at some odd looking Canadian style bus stop right now.

The next day at school, Jimmy is mad at Sean. But then Jimmy gets a kiss from Ashley. Ask me, Jimmy should thank Sean for setting in motion what led to that kiss. At least give him some money.

Emma tries to comfort Sean. She has on her signature dolphin jeans, which are meant to help. Dolphins are very soothing. Also, she has boxing gloves tied to her waist. I don’t know what’s up with that.

Conclusion

This was a nice, simple, classic Degrassi story. No dumb gimmicks, no superfluous characters or scenes. No obnoxious politics, even. This is Degrassi done right.

Degrassi Revisited: “Bark at the Moon”, Season 4, Episode 13

TV Review

I got home one Sunday night in July after a long weekend with my stupid fucking family. Saturday was too hot, then it rained all Sunday and there was a flood warning. I didn’t care because my apartment is on the second floor. Let the plebs living on the ground worry about rain. Up here in the sky, we enjoy our closeness with the sun.

Anyway, to relax, I loaded Pluto on my TV. Pluto.tv is a free streaming service from Viacom of shows and movies it owns. It has ads, so it’s like cable, but better because it’s free and has things I actually want to watch. Because this is an election year, about half the commercials right now are for the Joe Biden campaign. Man, I wish I could meet someone in real life who is as excited for Joe Biden as his campaign commercials are. The commercials actually think Joe Biden is both inspiring and doesn’t poop his pants.

So Pluto has annoying commercials, but some good channels. There is one that streams classic Nickelodeon all day, which is a treat, because it takes me back to a time when I was young and happy and not beaten down by the ugly world.

There is also a channel that only shows Unsolved Mysteries, which I haven’t seen once this century. In case you are too young to know, Unsolved Mysteries was documentary show hosted by Robert Stack, who’d wear a trench coat (the trench coat being the most mysterious coat to wear because you never know if someone is naked underneath) as he introduced segments that ranged from reenactments of unsolved murders, or missing people, to stories about ghosts and UFOs. Looking back, it was wildly inappropriate to put real life tragedies next to reports on Bigfoot, but that’s just how we did TV in the ‘90s. Unsolved Mysteries used to air on Lifetime, the women’s channel. That made sense because woman are the main audience for the 4000 true crime murder podcasts on iTunes, and every woman thinks every house she’s ever lived in is haunted. But I used to watch Homicide: Life on the Street reruns on Lifetime. It was one of the best shows of the ‘90s, but it was a gritty cop show that usually only had one woman in the cast.

The Degrassi Channel is mistakenly listed under “Entertainment”

There is even a channel that streams Degrassi 24/7, all however many seasons there were. I don’t think anyone asked for that, but Pluto has it. They don’t air Next Class, the Netflix series. Netflix must still own the rights even though they canceled it. That’s fine by me because Next Class was Next Ass. I would always end up turning off the Degrassi channel as soon I looked at it, because they always seemed to be showing episodes from later on, when the actors were too pretty and the stories too dumb. That is what happened to Degrassi, the actors got better looking and the writers got worse.

But I was in luck that Sunday because Pluto was finally showing a Classic Degrassi Adventure. The episode was Bark at the Moon”, the 13th episode of the fourth season, and the fifth after the school shooting. It originally aired on November 23, 2004 (or as they write dates in Canada: 04:23:dinovimbrei) I was so happy I wanted to write a new recap of the episode to expand on what Billie Green wrote so many years ago.

It begins with Spinner waiting tables at the Dot, the cafe next to the school, while Manny keeps her eyes focused his butt. Spinner tells her he needs to “boost turnover” or the manager will slit his throat. I think turnover refers to how often employees have to be hired to replace those that quit. I don’t think that Spinner’s responsibility. Maybe he needs to sell more apple turnovers.

OK, I went and looked it up. Turnover can also refer to “The amount of money taken by a business in a particular period”. Words have too many meanings and I’m sick of it.

Anyway, even though Spinner has to be working, he still takes time to flirt with Manny. They began dating a few episodes ago, I believe, and Spinner wants Manny to commit to being boyfriend and girlfriend, officially. I assume they would be by default since they are dating. But, no, Spinner wants Manny and him to go steady. Go steady? What is this, Happy Days? Hey Spinner, do you want Manny to wear your Letterman jacket and be your only gal? Do you want to pick her up in your Chevy and drive her to Makeout Point, where you’ll kiss with tongues while Frank Sinatra and Big Bopper play on the AM radio? Actually, that sounds romantic, and way better than dating is now. Dating these days is horrible when you have to spend hours trying to make yourself look not hideous on Tinder and find the rare person who is less hideous than you doesn’t live with a dozen pitbulls.

“That’s Rex. He really likes you.”

“He’s biting my face off!”

“Nah, those are love kisses. He’s a gentle boy.”

“Please I need to go to the hospital.”

“You said you liked dogs! Now you’re dripping blood all over my carpet. Get out before I call the cops!”

Anyway, what’s absurd is that Manny won’t agree to be his girlfriend yet. What? Why? He’s Spinner. Teenagers are dumb. It’s too bad most of them are immune to COVID-19.

After the theme song, Manny shows a new student named Chester around. Looking back at the original recap, Billie referred to Chester as “Esk*** kid”. Yikes! On behalf of Warm Fuzzy Glow, Boycott the Caf, and our parent company, Al Jazeera Digital Media, I want to apologize to the Indigenous Community of Canada for our past use of the “e-word”. It is as unacceptable today as it was back then.

Craig then approaches Manny to apologize for getting her pregnant last year and spending all day hopping from one garage sale to another while she had an abortion. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes,” Craig says, “but you were probably the biggest.” Way to apologize and dunk on her at the same time. I think Craig is trying to make amends after he learned he is bipolar. Mentally ill people have to complete a 12 step program, I suppose. But Manny is not ready to hear this and walks away.

I think Manny is being unreasonable. Girl, you had the abortion, let the resentment go. You got to start over at the clinic, like you were never even pregnant—literally!

Abortion is a controversial issue. And I am for it. Don’t get me wrong, I 100% agree with pro-lifers that a fetus is a lifeform and abortion is murder. It’s just that I am OK with murder of the unborn. Everyday Goddamn day I have to deal with shithead parents who don’t know how to manage children, dragging around their little shithead children that never should have have been born. I’m sick of shitty kids and parents everywhere. I wish abortion was more common. I want to hand out morning after pills in gift bags. I’d put in it the water supply if I could. Seriously, do you want Manny and Craig to be parents? As stupid as they are, their kid wouldn’t stand a chance. The Canadian taxpayers already have to subsidize a lot of stupid e-words up north.

My point is, I think abortion should be legal, but also a woman goes to Hell for having one. And as Christian who uses Sundays to sleep in, I am firm in my principles.

So…anyway, next, Paige tricks Manny into filling in for her in a meeting she and Marco have with the principal, Mr. Raditch. I think the principal will know the difference between Paige and Manny. They are two of only a dozen kids in this entire school who do everything. But then, Mr. Raditch comes out of his office holding a box of his things. The school board fired him after the shooting. I guess he had to let Marco and Paige be the first to know.

The new principal is that blonde woman. I forget her name, but think she was a teacher. She’d better hope there isn’t another school shooting in the next 90 days while she’s still in her probationary period. She wants Manny and Marco to come up with a way to boost morale at Degrassi. It’s good the principal asked a girl and a gay boy to come up with ideas, because a straight boy wouldn’t take it seriously. He’d be like, “Uh…how ‘bout we give everyone a copy of Halo 2? Derr…” with his mouth open the whole time (Halo 2 was a big game in 2004, if you’ll recall).

Next, Spinner tries to woo Manny with a stuffed llama. It’s a toy, not a real llama stuffed by a taxidermist (Spinner already did that to woo Grizzly Adams). But Manny just takes it without committing to being his girlfriend. If she doesn’t want to go steady, she better give the llama back. Spinner stole it from his sister’s bedroom.

Manny and Marco try to brainstorm ideas, but keep getting distracted by talking about Britney’s marriage to Kevin Federline (hot gossip in 2004). Chester comes by and suggests a dance, with the twist that they use a computer survey to match up couples. That would be awkward and humiliating to boys and girls alike. The survey asks each student their favorite movie, band and such. As Billie pointed out before, the survey would be useless because most boys and girls have complete opposite tastes in music and movies. Every other girl will get matched with Marco.

At lunch, Spinner tells Manny he can’t attend the dance because he has to work. “If you can’t commit to a simple dance,” asks Manny, “How can you commit to me?” It’s clear Manny is not really upset about the dance. She said that when she really meant something else. Girls communicate their feelings to men in riddles. If you are a boy, think of a girl as the Riddler and you as Batman. You must solve the riddles to win the day. Also, dress up as those characters in bed. You many find it to be quite erotic.

By the way, Manny is wearing low cut jeans. I miss those. They were the best part of turn of millennium fashion. Remember when you could see a girl’s belly button? Nowadays, women wear the high wasted jeans that go up to their bra. I blame Taylor Swift. But it’s also the fault of fat women who want to hide their belly rolls. That means we’re never going back to low waist jeans, because the population sure as hell isn’t going to get less fat.

If we’re going to let fatties dictate apparel, why are only pregnant women allowed to wear maternity pants? I want everyone to wear them. They look so comfy, with those large elastic waistbands. You could eat all you want and your pants will still fit. It would be heaven.

Anyway, the next day is Mr. Raditch’s resignation speech before the student body. I don’t think that’s something principal do. At the very least, Degrassi could have him resign like Nixon, where he boards a helicopter and waves to the crowd before leaving.

Chester gets to work on the dance matchmaking survey. The computer has matched Manny with Liberty’s little brother. I have a feeling Liberty’s brother will be much happier about this than Manny. Finally his years of listening to Jessica Simpson have paid off! But Manny wants to be paired with Chester, so changes her answers to match his. Her favorite movie is Honey (of course), but types in Donnie Darko, which Chester likes. Chester must be an idiot.

Later, at the dance, Manny finds she is again paired with Liberty’s brother, and sees Chester dancing with Darcy, in one of her first appearances. She looked so different back then without her massive hair extensions. Marco reversed Manny’s tampering because Marco takes the integrity of the dance survey very seriously. Marco tells Manny that she is scared to be with Spinner because Craig hurt her. That makes sense. It probably doesn’t help that Spinner and Craig are friends. “You need to get over yourself,” he tells Manny. I love how Marco made it his business to get Spinner a girlfriend. Spinner did help Marco prepare for his first date with Paige’s brother. This is what their friendship is about.

Meanwhile, Paige has been secretly dating a young teacher named Mr. Orlando. They are doing a bad job of keeping this a secret, because they keep discussing their relationship in school. Paige asks Marco for help, but he is busy helping Spinner this week, so Paige is on her own. Marco is mad that Paige also tried to fix the survey and came with a printout that showed her matched with Mr. Orlando. Mr. Orlando states that he never took the survey because he is a teacher. Nobody ever called Paige smart.

Paige and Mr. Orlando work out their bullshit and almost kiss in the hallway while the dance is going on. But they stop when Manny sees them! Oh no, Paige you had better do whatever it takes to make sure Manny keeps quiet. Paige, you’re going to have to become Manny’s butler.

Or come up with a plausible lie. “No Manny, hon, it wasn’t what it looked like. Mr. O was choking me. That’s it. No big deal.”

If that wasn’t bad enough, they kiss again in the school parking lot. Come on! Plenty of people had to have seen that!

Am I the stupid one? Were student-teacher relationships allowed in Canada? I know that in ‘70s movies, you could see, like, a 30-something guy with a 15-year-old girlfriend, and rock stars would do that in real life, but times change and this episode was only 16 years ago. I was around back then, I know teachers could get arrested for what Mr. Orlando is doing.

Anyway, let’s get back to Manny and Spinner. Spinner makes a surprise appearance at the dance. He started a kitchen fire to close the Dot early. However, Manny is not ready to Spin love with Spinner and is still trying to Chest love with Chester, so tries to show her dance moves to the new kid. But she is horrible. She dances like how black people think white people dance. You’d think she would be a better dancer, being a cheerleader. Maybe the cheer team isn’t that good. Maybe all the cool girls in Degrassi are in Majorettes. We never see them because they are twirling their batons and having their own adventures on a better Canadian high school soap, Toronto Hills M4K 1B9.

Finally, Manny takes Marco’s advice to heart and realizes Spinner is the boy for her. But since she has been leading Chester on, she has to let him down. Chester is mad and is all, “I thought Degrassi would be so much better than Nunavet. This place sucks. I hate you all.” Way to go Manny, you made another school shooter.

I wish Degrassi did have another shooting, instead of that Kevin Smith silliness that ended the season. Then Raditch could have gone to the school board to get his job back. “See? It’s not my fault the shooting happened. It’s the students’. These kids are fucked up!”

Anyway, Manny agrees to be Spinner’s girlfriend, with one condition: that Spinner promise to never get her pregnant. Spinner can’t make that promise, so Manny asks that he just won’t break her heart. Spinner can promise that.

Conclusion:

I like this episode. It had a good story and character development for Manny. Her actions made sense based on the way Craig hurt her last year. Season 4 was part of a short period in Degrassi’s run when the writers remembered past episodes and could follow their own continuity. And while the intense episodes about a shooting or blow job are the most memorable, there is something enjoyable about a simple story that focuses on the real way teenagers can hurt one another just trying to find their own happiness.

I see that Billie disagreed, only gave the episode a C, and wrote a short review that was oddly angry. Degrassi could make Billie quite angry, from what I saw as an intern.

My internship at Warm Fuzzy Glow was strange. I would be in the stockroom, sewing underwear, and hear Billie wandering the halls muttering. The breakroom only had raw carrots because that was all anyone was allowed to eat. Billie would munch on them while talking like Bugs Bunny and get mad when I didn’t do the same. I’d get woken up at 3:30am with a phone call telling me to go to Wal-Mart to buy goldfish and plastic tubs. Billie kept the office crowded with plastic tubs full of goldfish and never explained why. It smelled and the fish would die because Billie never bought filters.

I think spending so much time on Degrassi drove Billie Green insane. In a way, I think dying from a policeman’s bullet was blessing and brought Billie some peace.

You can watch “Bark at the Moon” on Youtube! Do so at your own risk, because Google will forever know you watched Degrassi.

Ghislaine Maxwell Arrested

News

Ghislaine Maxwell, Jeffrey Epstein’s confidant, arrested in sex abuse probe

The daughter of the late British publishing magnate Robert Maxwell has been accused of playing a role in the trafficking operation.

Federal authorities arrested Ghislaine Maxwell, the longtime confidant of Jeffrey Epstein, on Thursday in New Hampshire in connection with the late, accused sex trafficker, authorities announced.

By Tom Winter, Jonathan Dienst, Joe Valiquette and Sarah Fitzpatrick, NBC News

OK guys, here’s my movie pitch. Chris Pratt plays a US Marshall tasked with hunting down and bringing into custody Ghislane Maxwell (played by Selma Blair) before she can flee to Epstein Island and be safe from extradition. Halfway through the movie, he captures her. But then the twist: now he has to protect her from operatives from MI6, Mossad, and the Clinton Foundation, who want to kill Ghislane before she can tell federal prosecutors everything she knows about the global child sex ring.

The final showdown will be in the very jail where Epstein was “suicided” against a heavily armed Hillary Clinton (played by David Spade in a wig and pantsuit).